Babies and sleep. They go together right? Well kind of.
I am no sleep expert, and don't pretend to be one. Kind of like mothering, I really sometimes have no idea what I'm doing, and just make it up as I go along. I feel though most new mamas really don't know what to do when it comes to sleep...and let's be real there isn't always anything you can really do. I get asked about Madelyn's sleep often, so I thought I'd touch on what we did, and what works for us. It definitely won't work for every baby, your lifestyle, and your views of how to parent, but hey if it helps a little then I've done something right??
Madelyn Rose. We were blessed with a good night sleeper from the start...naps...we'll get there. I chose to co-sleep with Madelyn, something a lot frown upon I am well aware. Luckily, I am the LIGHTEST sleeper of life, and will wake if a hair on her head ruffles. I also do not move in my sleep. We weren't having great success with the bassinet (aka she just cried) and I selfishly loved having her cuddled next to me. So yes, I took the easy way out and it worked for us. She was your traditional baby, waking every two to three hours in the night to feed at the beginning. She gradually started to stretch to four hours and then BOOM, she pulled a fast one and slept the entire night at about two months. Like didn't even wake to feed kind of "slept the night". At first I panicked. I'm a nurse, and like DUHHHH babies need to feed. The next night, it happened again. And then again...AND THEN AGAIN. We monitored her weight (no issues there our little chunk LOL) and rolled with it. Let's be real, it wasn't nice at first waking up to legit watermelons, but who's to complain when you actually start getting consolidated sleep. I kept pumping at about 4am to keep a supply in case, and just to save some milk for my darling husband so he could give her a bottle (gym time WOOT WOOT).
At two-three months (life is a blur), we had a night sleeper. I realize how lucky I am, and don't anticipate ever being this lucky again. In my defence, the nights were glorious but those naps were another story. I truly believe you either have the good night sleeper, poopy napper. Or the best napper on the planet, and nights are another story. If you have neither, I am so SO sorry, and if you have both, well you won the lottery and should rejoice. Money, sleep...they're basically the same right? Madelyn was a chronic 30m napper...sometimes even 20m. I'm well aware I have it pretty darn great and won't complain...but it is rather difficult to run a household with 20 minute naps. That is why I never post pictures of my house LOL.
Fast forward to four months, it was time for her to be a big girl and love the crib. I had started doing those 30m naps in the crib at the three month mark, so luckily it wasn't a totally new experience for her. She was beginning to like being in her nursery (most of the time) and I consulted a friend about sleep training. This is definitely not the right or preferred choice of many, but again, this is our story and this is what we chose to do. I had a difficult time determining whether I wanted to approach sleep training via the cry it out method, or the Ferber method (basically interval times of allowing babies to cry, and then comforting them after a set time interval) Sleep training attempts to improve babies' self soothing, in hopes they can eventually put themselves back to sleep independently. I also forgot to mention the magical prop that also got us through the nights and naps of the early times...DUH DUH DUH THE SOOOOOOOTHER. We knew we were in for a battle with that one. At the time, Madelyn still could not grasp the contraption, let alone put it back in her mouth. We made a cold, hard decision to go cold turkey, and like sleep training it paid off. We eventually agreed on the Ferber method, as I couldn't stand the thought of her crying for a long period of time without even a little kiss. The dreaded night came, and those first five minutes were nothing short of your worst nightmare. Just cries, and screams, and more cries. Frantically searching for her soother, mama, dada, ANYTHING. I went in at the first interval, and comforted her in her crib for the allotted 45 seconds. I told her I loved her, and would see her in the morning. Next thing I knew, I WAS SCREAMING, AND CRYING, AND CRYING SOME MORE. I came out to the couch with my husband and in two seconds we decided to change over to the dark side of full blown cry it out, because there was no way I could go in there every few minutes and see that sad, teary eyed face and have to leave again. So 28 minutes went by that night...it was beyond what words can describe. We tried distracting ourselves...PFFFT. One tool we found super useful was a downloaded file from a friend, that described a baby's different type of cries. It was insane how accurate it was. At first, I thought it was dumb. How could a baby have different cries, and what does this have to do with anything. But it accurately described different types of cries, and it made it easier for us to understand where in the cycle of going to sleep she was at. Once we hit the peak cry, it happened. She went to sleep. AND she slept the night.
It was a miracle. The following nights, the crying lessened and lessened. Each night it just got better and better. Again, I am aware and apologize, because this does not work for every baby. I just want to disclose that we do have a great sleeper, but it also took time, effort, sweat and tears. Not everyone agrees with the notion to let a baby cry, and I completely understand and accept that. This is what we chose for our baby, and it did work. NOT every night is perfect. Heck when we travel and she's sleeping in a different environment, its a given I'm going to be up and get less sleep. Our last trip, I slept a total of TWO POINT FIVE hours. It was not my idea of fun. But it happens.
At the end of the day, we need sleep. FACT. But our babies will not be babies forever. FACT. They will eventually learn to sleep the night, it will come. Our babies will also grow up, and not depend on us the way they do now, which is also heartbreaking. We all have good days, we all have bad nights. It's hard to stay positive when you're stuck in a string of bad ones. I always try when I'm frustrated, to find positives, and this is where it takes me. This stage is so precious and won't last forever. Yes wake ups are annoying, but it's because you're so loved and wanted. Yes sleep is important. But there is most often a chance to nap in the day, or have an earlier bedtime. Find support in friends, or family. Make sure you schedule YOU time to stay sane. But just remember, it's sleep, and it will return. Your little baby, however, will continue to grow. Despite what you read, hear, see on social media...no baby is perfect. Nobody has it all figured out, and everyone has a different way of doing things. That's the beauty of parenting, you are the parent, and you make a decision of how you choose to parent your child. Nobody should be frowned upon (unless obviously there's harm or legit BAD decisions being made).
Well that was a very long ramble. If you read all of that, I applaud you. And thank you. That is the point of a blog right? I'm still learning.
Heart you all and please PLEASE feel free to share your story for myself and others to see!
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